Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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