Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
