I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
