and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
