stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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