OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
