time to smoke my breakfast
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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