yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize