so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Holy shit dude........stairs
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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