You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
