You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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