People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize
