So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
