its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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