Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize