hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
