I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
should my penis look like a turkey
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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