hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
