I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
