I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
