The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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