I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize