just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
