I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
