She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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