well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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