I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize