is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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