haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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