Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
mondays should just be called national damage control day
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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