Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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