Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.

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(303): View more from Colorado

You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.

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(310): View more from California

Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face

(310): View more from California

On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?

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(240): View more from Maryland

i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence

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(516): View more from New York

I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.

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(315): View more from New York

Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.

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(917): View more from New York City

She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?

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