if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
