i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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