i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
