he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
