Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am mentally ready for anal.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
