It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
