Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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