If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
