I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
