its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
