Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
