Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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