wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
