GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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