My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
