In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She needs sedatives and a leash
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
