When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
