do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
