They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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