my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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