Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
