Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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