I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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