Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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