How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
