I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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