yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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