Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
