Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
