my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
