I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
